Hi there! I’m back! Today I thought I would talk about getting those nice beach-ready abs, even when you are stuck on the couch with a chest cold.
Now unlike most exercise routines, achieving an exact position isn’t that important… just make sure that at least half of your time is spent in the most uncomfortable position you can attain, and at the least convenient time, IE just as you are drifting off to sleep. Now if you are one of those people who insist on stretching BEFORE you start exercising, you can always start with reps of 6-8 mild coughing fits and sniffle blows. Before slowly working your way up to 3-4 minute increments of extreme ab-busting coughing, and snot stifling.
Now, if you are ready, let's begin! After you have warmed up, preferably to 100 or so degrees, you should sit yourself down on the couch with approximately 25 pillows under your back and head, and begin to hack; make sure you are doubled over whilst you choke on your own phlegm, and make sure that you continue until you gag or pass out. Never work out without a gallon of orange juice, and a full coop's worth of chicken noodle soup, if you are vegan/vegetarian you can substitute with a safe alternative. If the body aches, headaches, and fever get to be too much for you, you can always take a fever-reducing pain killer, but remember: no pain, no gain!
Repeat this routine for approximately 10 days, and you should be beach-ready just in time for the next thunderstorm… Oh well, I guess you can’t have everything.
